Alastair Sadler

Accredited counsellor B.A.C.P.
the counsellor for you

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My counselling room

Welcome

Years ago when I was looking for a counsellor, I found it really hard to make an informed choice. There’s so much terminology and different types of therapy, that it seems you have to be a counsellor to know how to find one!

Now, as a qualified counsellor myself, I will try to help you find some answers.
In addition to offering my practice as a one to one and relational (couples) counsellor, I’ve answered a few of the questions that I’m often asked.
I hope that it helps you find the right counsellor for you.

"People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be. When I look at a sunset, I don't find myself saying, "Soften the orange a bit on the right hand corner." I don't try to control a sunset. I watch with awe as it unfolds." ― Carl R. Rogers, A Way of Being

my house

My Practice

I offer sessions via Zoom, telephone or face to face in Bounds Green N22 with easy access from Bowes Park N11, Alexandra Palace N22, Muswell Hill N8 and Wood Green N22.
There is roadside parking available and I'm located 6 min walk from Bounds Green tube and 4 mins from Bowes Park overground

The first step is to email me to arrange a short telephone conversation to answer any questions.

There is no ‘up front’ commitment. After the initial call, we’ll have an assessment session, where we’ll discuss confidentiality, goals and expectations and whether we’re a good fit. Only then will I invite you to commit to a contract if you wish. We will also have regular review sessions where progress and goals can be discussed.

Initial phone calls are free.
I charge £75 per 50 minute session for one-to-one counselling.
I charge £120 per 80 minute session for relational (couples) counselling.
Initial sessions are charged at the same rate as ongoing sessions.

One-to-one sessions are usually weekly and relational (couples) counselling is usually fortnightly.
I may offer concessionary rates in certain circumstances.

The important questions to ask yourself are:

  • Is this investment in you affordable for you?
  • Are you able to commit to a regular day/time?
  • If sessions were to be via telephone or zoom, do you have a private, safe space?

If you are uncertain please call me to discuss and hopefully work something out.

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One to One Counselling - How I work:

I’m an integrative counsellor which means I draw from many theoretical traditions to create an individually tailored approach for you.

My starting point is to create a relationship where you’ll feel held, safe and understood. A space where anything can be expressed and your complex inner world can be explored. A space where you can lift the mask that we all present to the outside world.

Over time we work out patterns of how you interact with the world and where that instinctive response comes from.
Then it is possible to take charge of your process, let go of the old patterns and heal the emotional wounds, allowing you to move forward with your life.

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Relational (Couples) Counselling

As a relationship counsellor I work to help make change within a relationship.
This can mean exploring:

  • The how and why of the relationship;
  • Identifying what needs to change;
  • Learning new ways to interact;
  • Co-creating a new direction in life.

Relational work does not mean fixing or judging who’s right or wrong.
It means dealing with the relationship as it is and working towards an agreed outcome.
It is often challenging work for everyone involved.

Although the term ‘couples counselling’ is often used, Relationship Counselling really applies to any form of relationship: Couple / Poly; Any marital status; Any gender / sexuality; Sibling / parent / friends.

There are many reasons why people come to relationship counselling:

  • Conflict and stress
  • Affairs and infidelity
  • Psychosexual issues
  • Understanding and improving the unique relationship dynamic
  • Navigating a relationship ending
  • Dealing with a life changing event or diagnosis
  • Disclosure, saying what can’t be said
  • Plus many, many other reasons
Please text me to arrange a phone call to see if it’s right for you.

Accredited BACP membership

About Me

My name is Alastair Sadler and I’m an accredited counsellor registered with the B.A.C.P. British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy

In addition to my private one-to-one practice, I’m a relationship (couples) counsellor having received appropriate additional training in psychosexual and relational practice.

I believe in bringing my life experience to the therapeutic relationship, as my training is informed by my life.

Since 1995 I’ve been a professional dance teacher working with adults. I’ve always been fascinated with the psychology of social partner dancing, and how we overcome the inhibitions that block the change from non-dancer to dancer.

Dance is often seen as a metaphor for life where relationships form, grow and end, within the space of a single song. Perhaps dance could also serve as a metaphor for counselling as we meet, contain, explore, and work towards a positive outcome.

"We dance for laughter, we dance for tears, we dance for madness, we dance for fears, we dance for hopes, we dance for screams, we are the dancers, we create the dreams." - Albert Einstein

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Questions:

Here's are a some of the questions people have asked me.
If I've missed one please contact me

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What are the different types of counsellor?

This is where there's lots of terms and terminology!
Most therapeutic theory that counsellors use fall into four therapy traditions which all overlap:

  • Psychodynamic therapies e.g. Attachment Theory and Object Relations. These therapies focus on childhood development and how that affects us as adults.
  • Behavioural therapies e.g. C.B.T. focus on our response to the outside world and the thoughts, feelings and beliefs that those responses create.
  • Humanistic e.g. Person Centred, Gestalt and Transactional Analysis (T.A.) value self-development, growth and personal responsibility.
  • Positive Psychology which is the newest theory and is the scientific study of the psychology of happiness and well-being. In essence it’s what makes us better than OK.

So which is the right approach for you?
As an integrative counsellor I’m well placed to help you answer that question.

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Counselling vs coaching

In essence: Coaches generally deal with the ‘desire to change’ and counsellors deal with the ‘need to change’. There is a lot of crossover between coaching and counselling and it’s fair to see both professions as at opposite ends of a spectrum.
Both use psychology, the science of how our minds work, but although we often use similar techniques, there are some significant differences:
Typically coaches help identify your specific future goals and the strategies and mental resources needed to achieve them.
Counsellors work on an emotional level with distress and the vulnerabilities that restrict how you are in the world.

It’s our unhappiness, fears, stuckness, poor decisions and inhibitions that restrict us from experiencing the world more fully, sapping our vitality, preventing us from achieving our goals. Those restrictions have to be removed in order to move forward with your life.

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What is an Integrative counsellor?

There are three ways to approach the various psychological theories and techniques and they are: purist, eclectic and integrative.
A purist will stick to the tried and trusted method of their approach. An eclectic will pick’n mix from several traditions, and an integrative will blend approaches to form something new.

An analogy might be a purist classical trumpet player would only play in a classical orchestra, whereas an eclectic trumpet player would play classically in an orchestra and jazz in a jazz band. Finally there’s the integrative trumpet player who’s influenced by classical music, but prefers a jazz fusion style, when playing in a rock band.

I’m an integrative counsellor and my aim is to find the best way for you.

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Get in touch